Our Virtual Coffee Morning by Helen Kinnett.
Disclaimer; if you think you are easily offended,
Listening to this poem is not recommended,
Just so we’re perfectly clear, if you don’t like what I’ve got to say,
Remember that it was Susan who asked, if I’d written any poems last Saturday,
And now she might regret asking me,
To write some poetry!
Coffee Morning at church, sharing banter with Dave,
What us? No we never misbehave!
Tea and coffee, scones that Caroline bakes,
Lovely crafty things that Susan makes,
Coffee Morning virtual, showing that we care,
We can join together, a friendly wave we share,
Can you see me in the meeting room?
Hello, can you hear me? Welcome to Zoom.
You may think I’m looking at your face,
But I’m just being nosey about your place,
In all honesty,
I’m sure you agree,
That we’re all looking around,
For who has the best background?
Who has the most interesting wall?
Is anyone sat in their hall?
Is your carpet bright pink?
Is your signal best by the sink?
Seeing each other, through a computer screen,
Everyone’s hair is the longest it’s ever been!
So some told of cutting their own hair,
While others wished they had some to spare!
As a fundraising event, Debbie’s hair was coloured bold,
At the end of her rainbow hair, will we find the pot of gold?
Stay indoors, don’t you play outside,
Social distancing rules must be applied,
Don’t go to church, to worship, pray, or sing,
Don’t go to the outside, for any unnecessary thing,
Come to our virtual Coffee Morning on-line,
Come weather it is rainy, or weather it is fine,
You aren’t allowed out on a bus,
So come virtually to join with us,
With the aid of a microphone,
You don’t have to feel alone,
Look at a video link, to talk,
About what you did, on your daily walk,
We had problems connecting, until we finally got our webcam,
So now at last you can all see us, we’re Helen and Pam!
Church family news,
Sharing of views,
If you hear a loud unexplained beep,
Please stand up, even do a sudden leap,
For while you may not be aware,
It’s your smoke alarm, giving us a scare,
Please hurry, get up out of your seat,
It can be heard all the way down your street!
Wave a tea towel where it is, in the air,
We don’t want a fire, please take care,
Take swift action, quick, be a winner,
You don’t want a burnt chicken dinner!
Mute your microphone, if your mobile, or telephone rings,
We don’t want to share, your conversations of private things.
We all remembered V.E. Day,
With Gillian’s original flag on display,
We have lots of fun,
We laugh with everyone,
But next, I have to share a confession,
Our church history, is becoming an obsession!
It’s good getting everyone involved,
As bit by bit, the story evolved,
Ministers, preachers, members, no longer a mystery,
As we delved deeper in to, our church history,
As we find out more and discover, it is good to always show,
The church is the people not the building, this is the truth we all know.
Delivery men bring,
Parcels or pizza to your door,
That just get left on the floor!
Virtual show and tell,
Checking everyone’s doing well,
Sharing our craft makes,
Eating biscuits and cakes,
Competitive behaviour, whose biscuit was best by far?
Chocolate trumped plain but you can’t beat a nak’d bar!
Our virtual Coffee Morning,
Listen to this warning,
Why don’t you come along?
But we can’t provide you a scone!
And if you want your cup, or mug of drink to be a star,
You’ll have to make it yourself, from your own coffee jar!
Here is our invitation to you,
It‘s really simple what to do,
Join our virtual Coffee Morning, there isn’t a membership fee,
But just remember, you’ll have to make your own cup of tea!